no unintentional intentions.

Me. I turn on 21 January 7, 2009. I am a sunny island native stuck in a place that snows.

layout: detonatedlove♥
picture: xxMakeupStain_Quotes
brushes: 77words

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ideals

Everyone has different ideals. Just that i cant do law, medicine or some engineering doesnt mean that my future is bleak. In fact, i know even if i can, the only job interest i have would be to be a doctor. But i know i wont want to study it, because i am lazy and i dont have photographic memory.

i quote the sg idol wannabe who said that u have to "imagine yourself in a dark room and the light coming out of a pinhole at the top." And its shocks me because the more i think about it, the more i think i am being ridiculous, like this wannabe. All the ambitions that i had, were to do something out of the norm, rare and requires not just courage and hardwork but aptitude. i am sure i am not alone in this. But in most cases, it turns out in the end that we all have no choice to conform to this boring world that requires more paper-pushers than philosophers.

Sometimes, i just want to give it a shot though i know i hardly stand a chance, just to prove some people wrong. I remember myself making this decision one and a half years ago, and i wonder how it would have been if i really did got my way. But this thing my friend said really made me want to prove her wrong.
"aiya even if your mum allow, u will meh? i really dont think so lor."

fortunately or unfortunately, my mum didnt allow my conceitedness to get the better of me.

i know i crumble under stress. i know i hate mundaneness. i know i want money. i know i am lazy. i know i hate restrictions. i know i like to be different. well, whether i am or not is another thing. i know i can never be satisfied with a safe and secure 9 to 5, 5 day work week job that pays me for OT and gives me a nice office desk with a pretty 17" screen.

dad said," i dont need u to be the top of your cohort. just dont be the last, be in the middle, be in sync with the rest of the people. " And that is what will make me a paper-pusher.

People

here there everywhere.

but what stands out?

the extremes.

the super tall
the super short
the super skinny
the super fat

and who leaves the deepest impression?

the most irritating
the most disgusting
the weirdo

the extraordinaire

the nicest
the sweetest

the ones who really hurt you
and the ones who truly care.

sorry for being irritating

everything was like a blur. and i wanted to get out of it quick.

i quote mavis,
anticipating the euphoria after a performance.
dreading the emptiness thereafter.

i think this time round, it was rather awkward. it was half euphoria and half emptiness at the same time. at that point in time, i was super glad it was over though part of me didnt want it to end. i felt i could have done better though maybe it was not really a matter of having more time. another round of disappointment with myself i think.

i met another person from another league. it reminded me of the past, a rather funny and bitter one. i guess it didnt turn out then not because we were too different, but because we both knew we can never compromise. u just reminded me that i am still silly, absurb and juvenile. guangmian said i dont look intellectual now cause of the hair. i think i am not, with or without the hair.

i think i need to be crazy for a while. besides i know u guys dont mind me irritating.. haha friendship = priceless