no unintentional intentions.

Me. I turn on 21 January 7, 2009. I am a sunny island native stuck in a place that snows.

layout: detonatedlove♥
picture: xxMakeupStain_Quotes
brushes: 77words

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i stole something frm yunru's blog again because when i watched it, it brought back fond memories. And they sound alot better, haha.

points to take note:

1. conductor is alot more dramatic than mr. ho. no amount of wax can keep that in place. after watching him, i think conducting can be a really extremely vigorous exercise.

2. sam and yunru say that there is a cute guy at 4.04. but i think hes not cute eh, he just happens to be the only young person in the orchestra. And he looks a bit like kakeru!

enjoy!


just for laughs

I went for my long overdue half a CWO this morning. It was to write a 500 word essay on the importance of punctuality for the first hour. Obviously, that was peanuts. Please lor, I am like seldom if ever late for school. Anyway, i wrote that i was neurodeficient and they shouldnt put me through CWO because i cant help it that i am neurodeficient.
(neurodeficient is a non existent condition anw, i just invented it)

Then i went kboxing and shopping with ernie, and bought a nice shirt for my brother. :) i think i am a super nice sister. haha!

I took this from yuanz blog, and since saturday is a nice day, i am posting this for fun. Can do it for fuN.

About the guys; Turned ON, OFF or DM (Doesn't Matter) :

Is taller than you: ON
Is shorter than you: DM unless its hobbit ht
Wears braces: DM cause i am getting them
Dresses Preppy: ON
Dresses Ghetto: DM
Dresses Gothic: DM
Has blue eyes: ON
Has green eyes: ON
Has hazel eyes: ON
Brown eyes: ON
Drinks alcohol: DM
Wears glasses: DM
Smokes: OFF
Plays sports: ON
Smiles a lot: OFF erm idiot?
Calls you just to say Hi: ON
Compliments you: ON
Likes to talk: DM
Shy and quiet: DM
Good dancer: DM
Wears jewellery: DM
Smiles when you walk in the room: ON
Has brown hair: DM
Has Black hair: DM
Has blonde hair: DM
Has red hair: DM
Makeup: OFF OFF OFF
Can make you laugh at any given moment: ON
Loyal: ON
Laid back: DM
Plays guitar: ON
Plays piano: ON
Plays drums: ON
Sing: ON
he's buff (muscles): DM unless he scares me like s*awn
Doesn't eat meat: DM
has a tattoo: DM
has a lip ring: OFF ouch
has tongue ring: OFF
dislike parties: DM
love parties: DM
clubbers: DM
virgin: DM
non virgin: OFF
have car: DM
no car: DM
stays home: DM
stays out: DM
uses hankerchief : DM
no leg hair: DM unless its obtained through depilatory means

random: jay chou rocks ma socks!

I dont know whether i should acknowledge him as family or a guest.
My brain logics that he's family but my heart argues that he's a guest.

This is warped.

Its almost like debating whether a woman who is paid to be your surrogate mother is your kin or not. I just dont think that there was any exchange of emotions these eighteen years. It was merely a consciousness of each other's existence.

But still, welcome to my life.

Post Etude Blues

i am suffering from peb.
one word,
nostalgia.
bye njcsb 05-06


Set ablaze the house
which rose in ashes and sparks
towards heaven
Bridging the infinity
no matter how transient
we tried to be hopeful
Alas
ashes spiralled to the ground
softly but surely
We have lost him
not
in our memories


Etude Night

It was a night,
at a pretty and big house (shermin's house),
with lotsS (unlimited) of food,
And lots of great people.

We ate pizza
then squeezed into the basement
and watched the poor resolution soccer match
between portugal and germany.

1st half was super boring,
with 3 pairs of feet taking turns to
dangle above my head.
eek.

Meanwhile we were all witness to some chemistry romance between two,
supported by cold hard evidence,
which became the breakfast topic the next day.

After which we slept in extremely contorted positions,
everywhere
on sofas,
on the floor,
on the floormat,
on carpets,
in corners,
and lucky ones on mattresses.

i slept amidst dirty fellows who didnt bathe,
then i woke from the cold and subsequently had to send hanjie off.
Miss ya dear senior. Jiayou and take care!

And this taxi company provides call in taxis only from monday to friday. where's the service sia? lousy pok

Etude XXXI

Etude XXXI marks the end of my band life as an njcsb member. A nice break from band finally, though i know i will miss the times we had in our old, dusty and stinky bandroom, especially now that it is pretty much destroyed. Goodbye to the our dear mugging and napping table, the low ceiling with self adjustable fluorescent light bars and the unique but weird scent of the room that only band members cant seem to detect. i will miss njcsb, especially all of its pple.

Despite the dreariness of practices in the June holidays, i thought practices the week before our concert felt much more enjoyable though it was still just as long. The whole week after our CTs was like a whirlpool of panic, frustration, mass smsing, going to far east plaza - honey n bee, isrida and drinking lots of milk tea, late night rehearsals, shock and relief due to craig's illness, ballroom dancing and making LOTS of mementos ALL in one. It was absolutely exhausting to the very last hour but sastifying i would say.

And all the effort we put in and mental trauma that we underwent certainly paid off on the concert night itself! Judging from the response of the smses i received, it was a resounding success. yay! glad u guys enjoyed yourselves!

Thanks to all the people whom came though they were not band pple like my dear class(i am the only band member)!
jane.liyan.beehui.xinying.betty.yanling.chienling.dianyang.longcheng.ian.yingcong zhengliang.penglu.chihyeh.jinrui.
i really appreciate it! i love all the prezzies. To add, i got my prettiest bouquet last night frm the guys, coolest bouquet from jane, super nice chocz from betty,n funkiest plaque from yanling.hahax

Thanks again to all the other pple who bought or made me stuff, smsed me gd luck and gave me firm handshakes. :) you guys made etude xxxi even more meaningful for me!

And not to forget our dear MCs pretty claire and shawn. Thanks for being our MCs and putting so much effort despite CTs as well!

Ok i accept that i am nice from far but far from nice. but i am nice from within, so i still win hands down! haha :P

Lastly to the one who suffers paranoia like me, sorry and thanks!

sometimes i would rather live in lies. at least it makes me happier.















although i dont really believe i can sound better than sharon, i dont mind hearing it. haha thanks shermin.

when you are not what you think you are, the gap is called expectation. maybe thats why there is disappointment.

swim or drown

i keep seeing this three words everywhere today and it really got me thinking. Its not truly in the sense of swimming so as to not drown, but what you do in order to not drown in situations.

In situations where its either make or break, or life and death, most of the time everyone is just as selfish. I ask myself if i were drowning in turbulent waters with my friend, would i subconsciously or even consciously push her down in the attempt of struggling to surface the water? i really dont know. Though I can say truthfully now that i would rather die than to sacrifice my friend, when put in such situations, no one can tell really.

Even kinship cannot promise you anything, siblings who were drowning in the canal, according to reports, were struggling and pushing each other down into the water in order to keep afloat. They both died anyway i think, if i didnt remember wrongly. I guess when u were put in life threatening situations, its your own survival that precedes everything else.

The same is reflected many other contexts as well. In less pressing cases compared to life and death, most of us are still as selfish. At least when you "accidently" kill someone, you will feel the guilt for a lifetime. But when you were given the opportunity, you were hardly conscious of its exclusivity. Its made me wonder if it was just a matter of keeping afloat when you wanted it so badly back then. If it was, then you have hardly realised it was drowning others too.

I guess when u were desperate, u didnt think that keeping afloat would mean sacrificing others concurrently. I am not saying you were wrong because self-centeredness is probably an attribute of the human race. But perhaps you should think about how awful she has to feel having to bear the weight of your words each time you repeat them. Thats the least you can do and probably the only thing you have control over now.

ah but then again i doubt you will see this.
sigh you really baffle me.